How to Deal With People Who Annoy You

 In the height of my anxiety, my mom gave me a book that changed my life. I don’t remember the title but I remember the concept: Emotional Trainers.

The people that are most difficult to be around are emotionally training us, strengthening us, developing us into the women and men we want to be one day. 

Holiday time is emotional-training time. That look your dad makes when you chop vegetables a certain way? He is training you to have compassion despite his controlling nature. That nitpicky tone your mother uses about your too-tight outfit? She is training you to release the need to defend yourself. Your partner’s inability to help with dishes without being asked? He is training you in patience.  

Emotional trainers, whether family members or strangers challenge you to observe unpleasant emotions so that you can rise above them. 

I created a meditation for my subscribers to visualize releasing the wounds that cause the trigger in the first place.

meditation for non judgement

This week’s mindfulness challenge is to observe the people and events that bother you. Then, notice what feelings and fears they trigger. I guarantee that these feelings aren’t new.

Most enemies
enemy memories and enemy voices
are just deja vu
of feelings trapped
finally finding space to release
Don’t kill the messenger
I’m told
Kill the message
by listening
until you hear

its a lie

My well-intentioned husband is my biggest emotional trainer. Some days, the way he loads the dishwasher bothers me. Other days, the way he looks at his phone at the table upsets me.I can a) judge and blame him or b) notice the fearful voice that his actions trigger and then realize that this voice is a lie.  The lie I uncover is usually, “He doesn’t love and respect me enough to…”
1. Who are your emotional trainers?
2. What emotions and fears do they dredge up from your past?
3. What would life look like if these fears healed?

Emotional trainers are an opportunity to rise above judgment and evolve. 

Instead of judging your emotional trainers use him/her as an opportunity to face formerly hidden feelings and fears. Then, pursue the paths that help you heal. I usually have to tap it out, meditate or pray. Sometimes my clients need all three. Doing so has not only transformed my social anxieties but transformed how I relate to people I used to judge.

If you ready to break through old patterns of judgment and the root causes that exacerbate them, you might enjoy my resources and private sessions.

May we heal fully, live freely and love boldly,
Jackie Viramontez

P.S Would you enjoy an inspiring mindfulness challenge every Monday? My subscribers get a BONUS Guided Meditation Every Monday! Subscribe for Monday meditations here.


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