How Do I Defeat Loneliness?

Today I teamed up with The Refined Woman in a series called Just Breathe. Be sure to check out the other ladies apart of this collective on Instagram today–as well as the articles on their blogs: Corie Clark, Kat Harris, Julien GarmanTutti del Monte, Nikia PhoenixBrynn Watkins, Jessica ChowTonhya WysongJoanne Encarnacion

Up until I was 20, I felt anxious every single day. That betch of an emotion shadowed me for two decades. There were many days when I asked myself: Will I feel anxious forever?

When one of my subscribers shared that her apartment felt like a battle zone, each room, couch and picture frame a reminder of her partner’s absence, I felt her pain. The voice telling her, “I might be alone forever” growing louder with every passing month reminded me of my own.

Anxiety, loneliness, defeat are like uninvited guests that outstay their welcome. Most of us have felt all of them, but today’s featured subscriber feels an equal determination to feel better.

This week’s (Q)uestion comes from this subscriber’s experience: How do I get rid of this feeling of loneliness?

Nerd alert: Research proves that feelings are just hormones that last 90 seconds. The catch is that they last 90 seconds only if you don’t engage with them. In other words, if you don’t analyze, talk to, think about, or focus on your uninvited guests for 90 seconds they get awkward and leave.

The tough part is staying unengaged. Lucky for you, my journey and my profession have revealed a few shortcuts to feel while also “not engaging.” Today’s short cut is so simple it’s silly.


Relax your tongue: This is not a joke. Neuroscientists confirm that dropping your tongue to the floor of your mouth sends an important signal to your amygdala (aka your fight or flight response) to turn off. When your tongue is relaxed the body thinks it is safe, which it is! Keep breathing with your tongue relaxed, and your stress hormones disintegrate.

When your stress disintegrates, the fears and thoughts attached disintegrate too. With fear removed, loneliness’ voice has no foothold. With each breath, you engage less and allow unnecessary feelings to move right along.

I wrote a poem to include in this week’s meditation that won’t fix your feelings but will help you float with them on their journey until they decide to leave on their own.

Enjoy the float in today’s video meditation. Only available to subscribers except for the month of August.


I found myself in water neck deep
Each swell
A threat
Rising and falling to swallow my breath

I found myself in water
She swallowed my heart
Rising and falling With a message
I’m breathing for you
Will you Just float?
Rising and falling
I’m breathing for you
Just float
Rising and falling
I breathe

If you would like the audio recordings of these meditations, subscribe and get access to future Q&M Monday Meditations. I hope you enjoy the float. For now, I’ll grant you access.

May we heal full, live freely and love boldly,

Jackie Viramontez

Best Selling Author and Emotional Freedom Practitioner

P.S. Q&M MONDAYS = Every Monday I create a meditation (M) inspired by my subscribers relational and personal questions (Q’s). If you would like me to receive meditation straight to your inbox every Monday Subscribe here


Leave a Reply