Before I was in love
You gave me dreams of love
Before I had a child
You sent a fluttering to my womb
For things yet to come.
When I was 9 years old I dreamt that I was in love. It was a feeling dream mostly. I sat on someone’s lap I’d never met, but knew well, my body flooded with a familiar feeling I hadn’t yet felt in real life. Love.
The dream became a challenge to never settle until I found the real thing.
The dream was lovely and terrifying. It’s lovely knowing what is possible but terrifying not knowing when or how to get it. I could close my eyes and be flooded with joyful anticipation of a love I knew was coming, but at the same moment, I had something new to fear: Never experiencing it in real life.
For me, the fear of these hearts desires not manifesting always boils down to self-trust. Part of me knows it is possible but do I trust myself to make it happen? Or, can I do something to ruin the possibility?
These are scary questions, but at nine I was confident. Of course I would fall in love! Of course it would be easy! Of course no one would hurt me along the way!
Nine-year-olds have next-level self-trust. As we get older, time, waiting and material failure make fear ring louder than joyful anticipation. Self-doubt, perfectionism and fear take root.
The dreams on our heart
reminders to feel
yet to come.
This week’s mindfulness challenge is to get excited. Get excited about your dreams. Expect miracles. Notice your resistance to getting your hopes up. Say thanks, but no thanks to the fear and then get even more excited!
1. Do you have a heart’s desire? Let your inner nine-year-old close her eyes and feel the joyful anticipation of what she hopes will come.
2. Do you notice any resistance to getting too excited?
3. What fears need to fall away in order to fully surrender to the joy of this heart’s desire?
I recorded a complimentary meditation for subscribers to raise your vibe to the level of positivity, possibility and miracles. If you wish to receive a free meditation video every Monday, subscribe.
May we heal fully, live freely and love boldly,
P.S If you would enjoy a meditation and mindfulness challenge every Monday, Subscribe to my Monday meditations here.