What do rubber-necking and negativity have in common?
I just drove my mom to the LAX airport. Our 70-minute-conversation was awesome, but our longer-than-planned driving time was far from it. A car stopped on the opposite side of the highway had caused drivers to slow their speed to 20 MPH.
If I wrote the SAT prompt, “Rubber-necking is to driving as Negativity is to ____________.” How would you fill in the blank?
Both rubber-necking and negativity create unnecessary congestion. Both are irritating when we are headed somewhere we hope to reach.
When a client asked me how to curb her negative thinking, I saw the analogy of rubber-necking. I filled in my SAT prompt with,“Rubber-necking is to driving as Negativity is to goal-setting.”
Our negativity goes up in direct correlation to how quickly we hope to reach a destination. Like drivers turning their heads and slowing progress, her brain was focusing on delays and distracted from her hope-inducing destinations. I challenged her to focus on her excitement about the end-goal instead of the delays along the way. This brings me to this week’s mindfulness challenge!
This week’s mindfulness challenge: When you feel negative, pause and remember your intended destination. Then, get excited.
Spend 5 extra seconds getting excited about your goals, instead of fixated on distractions and roadblocks. A positive-focus will lead to a new brain, a new attitude, new actions, and hopefully a new and improved ETA.
Do you feel negative because you just started a business and it’s not going well? That makes sense! You were planning on a thriving business and it’s been delayed. Get excited. Recommit to enxt steps. Take action.
Do you feel negative about your relationship status? That makes sense! You were hoping to be in a relationship, maybe a family by now and its taken longer than planned. Get excited. Recommit to a relationship with Y-O-U. Grab a journal or a friend. Go be in nature and enjoy this awesome goal (and the patience you are cultivating).
Do you feel negative about your empty savings account? That makes sense. You were planning on being in a better financial situation by the holidays. Get excited about your monetary visions. Create a savings plan that works for you. Create a collage of what you will invest in when the time comes.
Nerd Alert: The brain gives 80 percent more attention to negative situations and delays than positive destinations and steps. This is not your fault, but your brain’s. All you can do is to retrain that brain of yours.
The next time you notice your negative-nancy voice, pause. Observe her. Say, “That makes sense!” Then, spend 5 seconds getting excited about the better destination, relationship, business, body or bank account you wish to reach.
The accident that slowed my morning drive was not even in my lane. It was on the opposite side of the highway.
Like rubber-necking, most mental negativity stems from “accidents” and distractions that aren’t even in our lane. In other words, negativity is rarely a threat, but a distraction.
If you are facing a source of negativity that is threatening your peace, you can always plan a no-pressure phone call with me. You can book a private session from there, or just talk through the right next step for you.
May we heal fully, live freely and love boldly,
P.S. Are you feeling wary of getting your hopes up that things will work out the way you want? Do you neeeeed to be the 1st to know about my next book which addresses our deepest need: trust? Awesome! Get on the list here.
P.P.S. If you want to receive FREE weekly meditations and mindfulness challenges straight to your inbox, Subscribe here.