an opportunity to learn to love
Setting: Florida poolside
Occasion: Celebrating my childhood friend’s soon to be wedding
Luxury sunbathing is far from a “bad thing,” but I’ve found that seasons of calm are the perfect time to reflect.
Since my brain is wired to focus on the negative (my bad) I start to ponder, ” Why do bad things happen anyway? Why can’t all life be poolside moments with friends?”
Sometimes we are in a season that feels peaceful, poolside vibes. Then the season can change, and those dang thunderstorms roll in and duck up the day.
This brings me to the point of today’s blog. Why do the bad seasons roll in and how do we respond to them. My gut instinct is to rush to avoid or fix the situation. But, I think that “bad things” show up for a different reason.
I think the point of bad times can be summed up in five words: Acceptance. Choice. Love. Surrender. Forgiveness.
Acceptance. Accept the season you’re in right now.Resistance and denial only make the situation worse. Acceptance is not apathetic, but a power move. Accepting where you are says, “I am bigger than this circumstance. I am bigger than this feeling. I am bigger than this person’s opinion.
Choice. No matter what situation you’re in, you have choices. You can’t choose how a person feels about you or treats you but you can choose how to respond. You can set boundaries. You can make space for people who love you. You can pause for some self-care. Make choices that honor your deeper needs.
Love. Literally, you can hate your situation but you can be loving and kind to yourself as you walk through it.
Surrender. Let go of the striving and worrying that we all know doesn’t help. Surrender what you can’t control, so you can focus on the attitudes and actions within your control.
Forgive. What if the point of problems was not to fix, but to learn to love and forgive yourself despite your situation. When life lets you down, forgive. When people let you down, forgive. When your body lets you down, forgive.
Forgiveness is not condoning, but a freedom to let the next moment be new. Instead of fighting, striving, and working your way out of a bad situation or relationship, you can invoke more peace by accepting, choosing, loving, surrendering and forgiving.
I believe in this concept so much that I wrote a book about it last year. In the first chapter, I share that,
“You are not created to stifle and suppress your emotions…tam(ing) and train(ing) what you do not understand. You just have to be courageous enough to face the unknowns, meet the wild you might not understand, and let each teach you a thing or two about love.”
Writing the book helped me forgive myself for the mildly painful relationships I found myself in again and again. Particularly difficult relationships tend to manifest within seven emotional themes, and in I Can’t Believe I Dated Him, we walk through each theme, exploring the opportunities on the other side.
You can pre-order the book on Amazon today (since it is relaunching in hard copy). I’d greatly appreciate if you send this to one lady friend who is down for a shot of sass+ love + forgiveness.
May we heal fully, live freely and love boldly,
Author & Certified Emotional Freedom Practitioner
P.S. Interested in exploring the holistic modalities Jackie uses with clients that promote deeper peace and personal power? Schedule a 15 min call today.