When empathy becomes a curse.
Empathy helps us see our partner's potential despite their imperfections. It helps us treat them from that higher perspective even when they make mistakes. It's a beautiful feeling, but, what happens when they never live up to their potential? We need to tap into the remedy of misused Empathy: Respect.
Respecting your partner looks like letting them be who they are versus judging them when they don't meet your expectations. It looks like honoring the life they choose, versus hoping for or controlling them into the life you wish they would choose.
Respecting yourself looks like setting boundaries when their life choices hurt or limit you. Relationships require compromise, but we never need to compromise our needs. Needs worth fighting for are safety, love, acceptance, trust, and respect. If your needs aren't met, notice if your empathy is making you settle. If so, it's okay, but commit to voicing your needs ASAP and commit to clear boundaries if those needs go unmet any longer.
While misused empathy might sound heavy, I had a very fun conversation with New Yorker Chelsea Leigh Trescott in her podcast Thank You Heartbreak.
We dive into a conversation about life, career, and love that covers:
How life in quarantine is not unlike a day in the life of a solopreneur
Combatting loneliness
The most underutilized power move
Taking time to be joyful
How misused empathy plays out in romantic relationships
A woman’s relationship with “not enough yet”
Why we have to stop urging our partners towards their potential.
I recommend this episode to anyone who identifies as an empath or entrepreneur, or any woman who has attracted "fixers" in the past.
LISTEN IN HERE.